kernel, reflections

though the fact that they were terrible did not mean that they were necessarily truthful

Month: August, 2013

what lays beneath?

Plain white bedsheets cover your bodies,

they don’t know your favorite colour or if you prefer a print design or something more flashy.

1000 and still counting, the usual casualties of war; you’re famous now although your names are not really our concern, I mean.. who would go on and read all of your names had they been available?

Pictures of your bodies, covered by those damn white sheets, are all over the internet; regular statistics ( X number of children and women, X were old people, X were men) are being discussed in forums  and your deaths were on our chi-chat agenda today; “Have you seen the news/read the paper/ saw on FB? what happened today?” No one wondered what your favorite dish was. Your death, somehow , matters more than your life.

Adieu! little girl; you loved to dance and your best friend was your neighbour and you hated coffee. May you rest in peace.

Adieu! baby boy; you had not yet mastered the art of speech but you smiled all day long and you made your mamma happy. You were the first son of the family. May you rest in peace.

Adieu! Daddy; you always said you’d die for your family, you never thought you’d die with your wife and children in bed. You loved them with all your heart. May you rest in peace.

Adieu! Mamma; you enjoyed the scent of roses, you loved cooking too but you hated washing up the dishes and your husband made fun of your sixth toe. May you rest in peace.

Adieu! Grandpa; you were a bit grumpy and you had no idea what sushi was. Your daughter used to call you “Papi”. May you rest in peace.

Adieu! Grandma; you sang sweet lullabies to your grandchildren every night and you were complaining about your missing teeth. You were still beautiful. May you rest in peace.

Adieu! best friend, lover, bride-to-be, ex-boyfriend, uncle, classmate, bus driver, colleague. Adieu!!

Adieu! cats and dogs and adieu to all the creatures that someone dared to have you

killed overnight.

ADIEU. These words might make people realize that you are not just another number to the X number killed in Syria, in August 2013.

after the storm

tis’ that time when too many words clustered choke me up, toxic ones that I need to vomit out; tis’ the time when truth, bestowed on me by some reality I had never met before, punched me real hard and once again I gave my precious droplets of tears to the ocean.

and there was a wave that understood my pain, it hugged me tight and took me to the deepest of the seas but the magic I used to know so well was not there. You were not there my beloved. You will never be.

a merman saw me sad as I was desperately looking for my hidden pearls and he sang sweet songs of love and loss but how could I understand a language so foreign? How can I ever understand a world so different? he sang and I danced pretending that I belong to the bottom of the sea and I continued the show long enough and I smiled, albeit bitterly, but it is dark down there love. And you were not there my beloved. You will never be.

so I left the underworld stiring and I surfaced, cold and forgotten, looking for my pink bubble; the one that has been suffering by my newfound knowledge of the calamities of this world. It was right there but out of reach; floating, laughing, mocking me. And you were there too,alas, you were my beloved no more. As if summoned to you by some power, my pink bubble found refuge on your lips and you two together dared me to steal what once was mine. But my beloved, tis’ that time when despite the pain, the tears, the truth and reality, despite everything, tis’ that time when I, solo, will find a way to create yet another pink bubble to dance in.  Fearless.

Because I

don’t

I would not

I could not

ever, ever, ever

lie to you

love.

 

i did say αγαπώ σε didn’t I;

 

μφ

command I

dictate, embrace

I

love

thee.